I had planned to write about Christmas markets today but last night, Rod shared the funniest article and I just had to share it with you too .
Taken from The Times, Wednesday 23rd November 2016, the article is written by Will Pavia, New York, and transcribed below in full:
In a speech at Chicago’s City Hall, Howard Brookins spoke up about a terrible scourge that was blighting his constituents. “Aggressive squirrels” were eating their way through rubbish bins, he warned.
His fellow aldermen laughed. But Mr Brookin’s speech now looks like a brave intervention by a public servant unafraid to speak his mind, no matter the cost to his own personal safety. For barely a fortnight later, the alderman was seriously injured in an encounter with a squirrel. “First, I am OK and have been recovering in hospital since the accident” Mr Brookins told constituents in a message on Facebook. “I will, however, require multiple surgeries to recover from the damage to my face and upper body.”
The alderman said he would no longer be able to attend events but would be happy to correspond by email, or over the phone, for urgent matters. Mr Brookins is the victim of what he has described as a suicide attack by a squirrel. While he was out riding on a cycle path, a squirrel leapt into his front wheel, becoming lodged in the spokes. The alderman was pitched head first over the handle bars. He broke his nose, fractured his skull and had at least five teeth knocked out. The alderman appears to have been knocked unconscious.
“Some lady came along the trail and found me lying there next to my bicycle and called 911,” he told the Chicago Tribune. “I only saw the squirrel when I cam to and saw it stuck in the wheel.”
The motives of the squirrel were unknown, though long-time observers of the notoriously dirty business that is Chicago politics were not slow to join the dots. It was payback. The city of Al Capone now faced another band of ruffians, living outside the law, keeping secret stashes of nuts and occasionally exerting blunt force on the levers of power.
“I can think of no other reason for this squirrel’s actions than that it was like a suicide bomber, getting revenge.” He told the Tribune. Mr Brookins believes he could easily have died in the attack.
The alderman will be staying inside, as part of a month long recovery from his injuries. He told the paper that if any squirrels came to his home, he would call animal control.